If you want to solve a problem accurately then first step is to define it accurately.
In order to define it accurately you need to listen to various versions of the problem.
If we don't listen we'll end up learning only tip of the iceberg. Listening is "hearing what isn't said" as Peter Drucker emphasises about "The most important thing in communication".
We don't learn new things because we don't listen. Before even hearing completely, we silently get busy in strategising to speak out our disagreement with other's ideas.
Even in dictionary there's a difference between the two. Listening is 'to pay attention'. Hearing is to be able to 'perceive' sounds that fall on ear.
Most often we get distracted by the speaker's inability to communicate. In a given situation, rather than grabbing her real feelings and the content s/he tries to present we lose most of the information, inadvertently at times.
Many a time thoughts presented to us get sensored by the presenter depending upon her hidden agenda. It could be dangerous if one gets influenced by presentation-quality of the presenter under such circumstances, be it a customer, a supplier or an employee. Better the presentation better is the impression likely to be and vice versa.
But after all an impression need not be a reality. As a result we end up 'perceiving' depending upon our impressions and what we hear.
Listening is 'to pay attention' to the deeper content and feelings scratching beyond the surface. In other words, to put it more accurately, we need to actively-listen.
Active-listening is like the way a mother 'listens' to her child. Even an illiterate mother is able to do so to her new-born one. She has her own way to find out what the child tries to communicate through her crying 'speak'. She 'throws' various options at the child and does a quick 'mix-n-match' of the 'contents' to find out near-perfect need of the child. She creates easy channels of communication and keeps them open through her judgemental PDCA¹ cycles in real time until the problem is captured and solved in totality.
This is an important skill to improve behavior of people and to improve relationships with an aim to resolve conflicts between two people or among groups of people.
Intent of the listener should be unbiased though.
In case of a fight between two children, for instance, a matured mother would listen to content (complete facts) and sense negative or positive intent if any of both the sides with a positive intent of resolving conflict for common-good.
Extending this analogy of lack of positive intent by the big brother further one would be able to find out roots of why and how 'gossipers', 'informers' and 'frenemies' (enemies who 'act' like friends) get born in various settings and walks of life.
So if you don't want to get disappointed later it's important to focus more on content and the intent of the speaker (the need to be a good listener) rather than fluency and beauty of communication (the want of a bad listener). Better to focus more on substance rather than style.
That way not only presence of a person is more likely to get recognised and respected but also iceberg of the problem is likely to be acknowledged and captured more accurately.
Correct definition is like reaching half the solution to the problem. Rest half gets addressed with continued active-listening.
A MaiKu© poem on the subject:
Rains out-of-season
Child cries at 3 A.M. for no reason
Miss the bus on most occasion
MaiKu© Is My-Haiku
Footnote-1 ¹PDCA cycle of improvement as in Kaizen: Plan or Assess. Do or pilot-implementation as per preliminary assessment. Check or Validate the pilot-implementation before full implementation. Act or Improve by next cycle of assessment.
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