I am afraid ! What do I do !!

I am afraid ! What do I do ?: Flex Muscles !!

In spite of being among top-10 percentile, he wasn't able to get through top companies in campus placement. He was preparing for third round of interviews.

Gripped by fear he was anxious about whether he will get through.

As a first-aid mechanism to tackle the situation, I reminded him to be coffee-bean like by gaining strength from his own achievements against difficult conditions in past. A coffee-bean adopts to tough conditions of boiling-water by getting assimilated in it along-with it's own color and taste, unlike a carrot in it that gives-in it's toughness.

It's like arousing self-confidence by meditating on actionable-facts from one's own successful encounters or that of a role model instead of day-dreaming on imaginary fears. Although sounding like 'flexing muscles' deceptively to scare a dog away, it's useful.

Like in an eu-stress kind of situation that pumps in adrenaline to create positive pressure for productivity, one does gain energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.
It's important however to be prepared to accept failures, if any, gracefully.

Finally he did get through, more because of his own commitment to 'flex-n-fight' rather than 'flight' away.

In hindsight, the latter job did turn out to be better in terms of both the profile and the package than the first two that gave him a miss.

What do we fear about?

As per REBT research, one tends to expect for herself the following. 

1/ A positive outcome in each situation, 

2/ Good treatment from everyone, 

3/ Fairness and ease in life. 

And then s/he begins fearing imaginary 'gap's vis-a-vis expectations as above.  S/he fears accepting reality and facts as challenges. 

For instance, had the so-called failure allowed anxiety and fear to take berth in place of faith and confidence, the interviewee might have missed berth in the latter job as well.

I remember a song in Marathi language 'Athshey-khidkya-navshey-daarey' meaning '800-windows-900-doors'. Life offers many opportunities except for those who choose to see and fear dead-walls in place of 'windows-&-doors'.

A caution: First-aid kind of flash-in-pan mental games such as above can't substitute being prepared for a given situation.

In 1980s, I had used a practical mechanism to be prepared to tackle fear of interviews. On most holidays during my first job I used to appear for various interviews. I was conscious to not be arrogant nor over-confident of course although I didn't need a corresponding job. 

In fact, I was confident since I had nothing to lose. It was like experiencing 'windows-&-doors' before even needing those.

Preparedness in general is like having a passport in terms of
- trained-mind in place to stay positive even in an unfavorable outcome,
- intrinsic knowledge of a given situation.
- alternative plans as well as risk management plans as a part of corrective mechanism

Preparedness helps steadfastly moving ahead with calculated risks of adverse consequences, if any.Thereby it helps mitigate fear  Being prepared to what all might happen in the 'interim' and as an 'end' while sailing makes one take steps consciously and confidently. It enhances chances of success. In fact, thereby it breeds enhanced-confidence in each subsequent situation.

It's prudent to take inner-view in light of the above before and while tackling a tough situation be it an interview or otherwise.


What's the learning? 

There is a structure in the above process.

In fear there is a negative structure that one climbs down a dark valley. 

In 'being prepared' there is a positive structure. One gets luxury of time that brings in patience. With patience comes poise that helps one climb up a mountain towards Sunrise. 

Which structure to use is about exercising choice.

So relax and train mind on these powerful thoughts.

Be prepared.

Gain positive energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.

And then fight the situation out.

Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture

"What happened? Why are you so nervous?", I asked one of my singer friends during our monthly singing meeting. "We have a lovely theme of singing 'monsoon songs' with a lively setting of heavy rains in the background!"

My friend is usually well-prepared for our singing meet up every third Sunday. We all professionals from various fields with a common interest enjoy theme-based singing.

"Are you not prepared today?", I continued.

"That's not the case", he murmured. "I am worried about my business dear. It has become a noise while I am on a song".

He owned a mid-sized business. In spite of reasonable compensation he had a problem of attrition affecting business performance year-on-year. It was their innovative product that had been somehow helping them sail through. In fact, their 'somehow'-management techniques consisted of 'pushing' people (including a major chunk of attrition-substitute freshers) for production, 'shouting' at them for mistakes, etc. This had been resulting in a 'snow-ball effect' of managing rejections, delayed deliveries, and so on.

In effect, sagging morale of people had been posing a perpetual challenge of keeping both the old brigade as also the new breed engaged homogeneously. Anxiety of future, that was evident on his face, seemed to take toll on him. Actually he had been voicing this concern at regular intervals in past.

What was the solution to engage people? 

There was no point in him worrying about attrition in particular. Even big and successful companies could't prevent that. Finding ways and means to get both the old and new engaged speedily and sustainably was the only answer. More the engagement, lower the performance issues, easier and faster the familiarization to processes, higher the affinity to workplace, lower the possibility of attrition.

Getting that done was a challenge particularly on a fear-struck workplace that on the other hand was full of challenges on quality, cost and delivery front.

In a fear-struck workplace if leader himself behaves like a maniac, it adds fuel to the fire. "What if I change the process" kind of 'What-if' questions haunt people under-fear especially if they are freshers.

Fear of unknown haunts just as a child gets scared of entering a dark room.

What will boss say if I make mistakes?
Will I be able to do this neatly or adequately?
Will I be able to complete it (Compliance)?
Will I fail?
Will I be able to communicate my stand?
Will my colleagues ridicule me?
Will they criticize me?

Such aesthetic fears promote staying put in status-quo.

While on one hand people under the grip of fear wish that everything should go right, on the other hand they imagine everything undesired happening. They begin worrying and get excessively anxious. This results into several mental, emotional and physical symptoms including demotivation, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, etc. In other words generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) takes their charge resulting into negative 'snow-ball effect' around. 

Apart from demotivating work-environment, causes of such worrisome behavior could be a mix of biological, psychological, social and cultural ones that may include: lack of preparedness for the occasion, personality inhibitions, shyness or learned behaviour of habitually worrying or anxiety (as a trait) inherited from their family environment, etc.

In personal setting the affected people may get conventional advice that of resorting to self-help strategies such as to "have self-confidence even if others don't have it in you" or to "look at your own self positively and get set & act" or to "relax, deep-breathe and meditate" while in mess, and "to "approach solving a problem one-step at a time", etc.

Yes, it's always good to make your own-self robust than trying to change outside world to accommodate your weaknesses. But only one's own family members with their captive homogeneity and serious interest may afford to spend that kind of time and efforts on helping one individually.

But in a typical dead-line based corporate setting that employs 100s and 1000s of people with multiple diversities at personal and professional level, spending that kind of time and efforts on helping everyone individually may become prohibitively expensive and difficult in spite of employing a fleet HRD managers and their initiatives. 

So what is the alternative solution for businesses such as that of my friend?

How to instill self-confidence in each and every member of the corporate family? How to align them with speed matching that required to perform and deliver time-bound goals of the organisation?

One pioneered by Toyota among various methods was about creating various listening platforms in order to preserve "respect for people" and to preserve their "individuality" in terms of individual creativity as well as speed of participation without affecting speedy demands on the organisation.

Toyota did this by providing

1/ empowered environment to make changes in work under an individual's direct control,

2/ structured platforms to declare and get recognised for the efforts put in suffering or making those changes with rules that would pre-empt all the fears including that of failed changes, if any.

This is where structured problem solving methods such as Gemba-Kaizen, One-step instant Kaizens, Seven-step Kaizens, Quality-Circles, Kaizen-Teian, etc. were born that helped them mint millions and billions of improvements. Most important common thread among them all was listening to the changes made by people with employee empowerment rules such as following as the essence among other support structures for creating Kaizen-culture as they say in one-word at Toyota. 

1/ The Kaizenee (an employee willing to make an improvement) is the boss to decide, make and declare small-changes within a pre-decided area with pre-decided conditions viz. 'go-zone' that won't disturb safety standards and customers. He is given full help by a Kaizen Engineering Team (KET) to experiment changes. (P. S. There are methods elsewhere in my blogs that help 'pull' all employees into willingness to do Kaizens).

2/ Mistakes and failures, if any, are pardoned. However they should be recorded as opportunities for improvement.

3/ There is no question of quantum of adequacy and compliance and that of size of savings as long as the deviations are recorded so that they don't go unnoticed and undergo next improvement (PDCA) cycle followed by standardization (SDCA) cycle.

4/ The Kaizenee's style and method of communication is considered least important as long as efforts in making changes are demonstrated personally or evidenced with before-after pictures. Anyone found ridiculing or criticizing a Kaizenee or her style and her sincere efforts is dealt with strictly.

5/ Moment an abnormality is noticed, anyone can stop the entire running line at a touch of a switch of an Andon that blinks or hoots placed at strategic locations.

6/ All help and attention is provided to a Kaizenee by a designated team if s/he brings forward any abnormalities in compliance to above rules. 

With such empowering rules, where is the question of fear now. Isn't this kind of empowerment enough to 'manufacture' self-esteem, confidence, teamwork in order to make the workplace self-managed.

It was difficult for my friend to believe this kind of maverick approach. In fact, his reaction was "with such rules 'they' will force 'us' to close down the shutters". Short of efforts to act he was stuck in his own set of paradigms. 

He may finally end up believing the maverick Kaizen-way on visiting some case-studies though. But I have serious doubts whether he will create one of his own because it's about 'believing-by-doing' which is very difficult for people who believe in 'talking-than-doing'.

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: 

Make It Simpler, Rest Will Follow 
How To Make A Difference 
Big-Be Or Bug-Be ! 
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms ! 
Nauseous Communication Gaps 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Raam or Krishna-Shyam: Tell me Hey Raam! 
Will It Work Here?  
Some Moron ! Some Great !!! 
That's How Morons Work 
You seem Reasonable if you appear Un-reasonable 
Smart-Moron Who Breaks Your Glass  
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy 
Can-changing-thoughts-change-a-nation
Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture 
Tolerate Once, Twice, Thrice? 
That's how some business partnerships work 
Taken-For-Granted ? You Deserve It !! 
Technology in-place, security dis-placed
IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important?
Do you know a Best-Career-Plan 
Customer or Custo-Mer?  
Experienced A Delightful Payment ! 
An Experience of Heart-and-Soul 
Less With More And More Gets Sore 
Should one care for value?  
ABCD of India Shining
Beware Of Political-Presentations 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Hoarders Of Filthy Hoardings

Chocolate ad that makes you feel sticky

How would you feel if.. an adult like me sitting on your sofa opens a chocolate bar with unwashed hands.. paws fingers exploring deep into the brown colored mass of the chocolate.. manages to push (with a little struggle) two fingers coated with chocolate into mouth while the rest touching cheeks all over.. and then look somewhat like a 'licking' birthday boy forced into your eyeballs?

More likely that you may (although actually not) pick such an adult up with a tong in order to flush her down the gutter so that there is no question of letting such a fool in your home ever again, forget eyeballs.

Would the feeling be different then on viewing such a chocolate-advertisement on TV?

Unlikely!

Feelings of the viewers may not be different but actions may be since the chocolate-clad models surely don't look as bad as me.

Anyway, is it necessary to show such acts in advertisements so much away from reality that they get difficult to comprehend: Like typically an otherwise well-mannered looking adult behaving childish.

Intention of the ad may be to project a person behaving child-like and happier on getting 'that' particular chocolate brand in hand. But there is a thin line between being childish and being child-like.

Being child-like may be acceptable but many may not subscribe to the thought of looking like a 'licking' dirty-child.

Internet is full of "10 Tips for creating effective ads" and "5 Most effective tips to connect with target", etc.

They are all good and practical tips as long as advertisers be consciously careful not to take their target-viewers-customers for granted. They might be doing so inadvertently though in their enthusiasm to grab attention of eye-balls within 'max-3-seconds-140-characters' kind of 'fast-marketing-communication-era'. 

I would like to add this tip to checklists if it's not already-there in the treasure on net. 

A powerful test-marketing of the ad itself in this context might prove helpful in making advertisements more effective.

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: 
Please do consider leaving a comment or sharing this post via social media.

Want Need-Or-Want 

How Many Times Do You Wash Hands 

Soon... Waste-to-Eat ! Sea-to-Drink !!  

Make It Simpler, Rest Will Follow
How To Make A Difference 
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms ! 
Nauseous Communication Gaps 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Will It Work Here?  
Some Moron ! Some Great !!! 
That's How Morons Work 
You seem Reasonable if you appear Un-reasonable 
Smart-Moron Who Breaks Your Glass  
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy 
Can-changing-thoughts-change-a-nation
Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture 
Tolerate Once, Twice, Thrice? 
That's how some business partnerships work 
Taken-For-Granted ? You Deserve It !! 
IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important?
Customer or Custo-Mer?  
Less With More And More Gets Sore 
Should one care for value?  
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Hoarders Of Filthy Hoardings

ABCD of India Shining

In India it takes ABCD to gather a crowd!
May be E, F, and ...., Z can be added to it!!

A, for an Accident or Crisis.
B, for Bollywood (counter part of Hollywood).
C, for Cricket.
D, for Divine Discourses.

E, for Emotions. India runs on Emotions or rather ruins on Emotionalism.

F, for Fraudulent Politics that juices the country.

While I take these contexts one-by-one in separate blogposts, the context of this post is the misuse of accidents or crises to derive political mileage.

Whenever there is an accident or a crisis like say fire, suddenly you will see crowd appearing from nowhere. Even police can't control them.

If the crisis has political implications, then in addition to the public, suddenly you will find political (mega-mini) leaders of all (mega-mini) parties appearing from thin air! Along with their bhaldaar and chopdaars, they crowd the site surrounding the diseased or aggrieved fighting for survival, making job of rescue and medical teams more than difficult.

Be it a Terror-attack, a major 'Drought', a 'December-2012' kind rape-case or a '4-year old Seoni rape-victim dying in Nagpur', sometimes you will find well-protected mega-mini political-leaders ('mega' surrounded by commandos, 'mini' by police) crowding newspapers with pictures or news of being 'in-touch' with the sites on phone or remotely (from a helicopter).

Crisis or otherwise, being 'in-touch' from 'ivory towers'; through self-portraits in advertisements at the cost of Govt or Semi-Govt arms or through sponsored birthday hoardings, is what most smart Indian political leaders rarely ignore doing.

Other day a cartoon aptly conveyed how a politician certified that Mumbai roads were free-of-potholes. "Citizens seem to take authorities for a ride by unwanted hue-n-cry. I have myself assessed roads from a helicopter-ride across the city", he assured.

What is the objective of being 'in-touch'?

Commonsensically it is to exhibit sympathy to the aggreived! 

But actually it's the vested interests of being 'seen-shining' as its side-benefits (rather main-benefits)! The objective is to 'shine' in front of the vote bank and create opportunities to juice the country in future!!

History shows that rarely the political 'shining' has helped the aggreived in past.

What is desired?

Time and again it is proved that a crisis is a result of a small abnormality ignored as being trivial one. A big fire begins at a small ignored spark. 'Kargil' happened because of ignorance of many such so-called 'small' intrusions as 'signals' over the years!

In other words or in language of 'Safety-Maintenance-Pyramid' of Kaizen (the Japanese improvement) philosophy, every big fire (or a crisis before it's arrival) gives out over-300 number off small-signals in various forms or shapes over a period of time. The signals could be in terms of abnormal practices such as say an ignored spark-prone loose electrical connection, a smoke from a littered cigarette-butt or from a hot-iron left 'ON' inadvertently while pressing clothes, etc.

The small signals in rape-cases such as Mumbai-rape or Delhi-rape actually existed there in the form of complaints about abnormal behaviors or non-cognizable-offence/s (N/C/Os) involving some of the accused. The signals were also there in the form of ill-reputation concerning the involved place such as Shakti-mills-compound in case of Mumbai-rape. Most such signals might have gone unregistered or got ignored by corresponding agencies (be it Govt or Non-government).

My point in question is, isn't there a-way-or-will, political or otherwise, that can be re-directed to speedily remove bottlenecks that hinder fast-track action on seed-stage-signals to crimes rather more forcefully than fast-track postmortems of crimes themselves?

The objective being to consistently coordinate and follow-up with them and enable them for appropriate and speedy actions so that such so-called 'small' offences are prevented from recurring or rather from occurring. Thereby up-rooting a probable-potential crisis at seed-stage itself is actually a sign of being proactive.

I know it is as difficult as convincing one's spouse to take that extra care at so-called 'trivial-spark' stage itself. Very few in millions do believe in importance of being proactive or preventive. May be it's beyond the capacity & capability of some to visualize a 'probable-fire' until it's actually seen with their own eyes.

Conventionally evidence is necessary as the basis of conviction. Rightly so. Crime like a rape however is evident and hence is easier to prove than an intention to do so or than a typical harassment that over a period of time might grow into a rape.

Here comes the role of leaders to 'foresee' what others can't even 'see'. Not only they should enable law-enforcers to push corresponding powerful laws &/or regulations but also enable speeding up tough actions on offences at their so-called 'small' (the spark) stage itself.

Unfortunately, political leaders seem to do exactly the reverse. They 'shine' on wrong count exhibiting 'sense-of-urgency' to save their own skin and that of their criminal political-kith-n-kins at times even by passing ordinances in parliament as done in past to neutralize even supreme court judgements.

It's time now for good people-in-power in particular to 'shine-brighter-n-faster'. They need to enable each other in their network in right direction that of preventing such 'sparks' from flaring into 'crime-fires' or full grown crimes.

Leaving no stones un-turned to appreciate its percentage-elimination at root-cause level rather than appreciating in terms of reduction of the base i.e. the booked N/C/Os itself or in terms of 'conviction rates', etc. as metrics of performance will actually promote attitude of and actions towards prevention of crimes. Thereby the fire-fighting and hence routine workload will reduce as also the cry for extra manpower and other resources for the same.

Smaller countries like Japan, Singapore, Israel and even some Gulf countries have administered such proactivity successfully. We can do it too if selfish motives at individual level to begin with are out of the way.

Skin-saving metrics such as 'base-reduction' otherwise do discourage booking of an offence itself, be it cognizable or N/C/O. Such under-counting is analogous to 'pushing problems under the carpet'. Not to forget, problems do have a nasty habit of surfacing exactly at wrong time making their administration very stressful and strained.

So being politician-like 'in-touch' after-the-crisis also is surely a welcome step but only after performing more important and apparently non-urgent act that of being seriously 'in-touch' to enable elimination of 'sparks' of 'potential crises'.

Earlier and faster such 'prevention-better-than-cure' wisdom dawns, faster will the nation be saved of potential costs/losses (in terms of 'Kargils in-the-making' such as 'Ladakh', 'Arunachal', etc.) on-the-border and (law-and-order issues such as rape, illegal and unauthorized activities growing beyond control) inside-the-border.

With such an approach, not only will it reduce reactive workload on all concerned but also help leaders in earning goodwill of citizens in the long-run. We all know that it's very difficult to forget good leaders as also it's almost impossible to forget bad leaders.

If it's so simple and obvious then why doesn't it happen the desired-way?

Because, either it is not as easy to practice as simplistic it sounds or I am too poor to understand level of the complexity the politicians have taken political economics to.

Recently I came across a couple of cartoons in DNA. One (Courtesy Urban Dictionary) showed our politicians acting as childish and stubborn; rejecting commonsense in favor of self-interest regardless of consequences.

The other showing a senior politician advising his colleagues (over a court's verdict on a scam): "Make stories, concoct confusion, create doubts... Haven't you seen the court has given benefit of doubt to Sajjan Kumar?"

In corporate life I came across four kinds of workplaces.

1/ One, where some people 'create' crises and some others try to fight them out.

2/ Two, places where everybody fights crises with some wondering about it's source.

3/ In the third kind, both roles are played by same people.

4/ Fourth-one is very rare Proactive-one, where everybody is in a sense-of-urgency to fight crises although hardly any may exist.

Characteristics of fourth kind of workplace are scattered around in this post itself. A smart reader may find them easily.

In first two kinds of workplaces, the sources of crises can get controlled sometime or the other. Third type is most dangerous because detection itself is a big challenge.

In the first three types there is a drought of leadership, will-power and sense-of-urgency to be 'in-touch' with the reality until it bites the concerned themselves.

Before it eventually does, I hope all including (myself and) people-in-power in particular aim their acts at being the fourth-one for My-India to be really shining and shining faster!

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: Please do consider leaving a comment or sharing this post via social media.

That's How Morons Work 
Functional-Aesthetics 
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
Take Habits For A Ride 
Make It Simpler, Rest Will Follow 
How To Make A Difference 
A Ride To Hell 
Make checklists your friends  
Drove To Hell ... Almost ! 
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms ! 
Nauseous Communication Gaps 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Raam or Krishna-Shyam: Tell me Hey Raam! 
Will It Work Here?  
Some Moron ! Some Great !!! 
That's How Morons Work 
Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy 
Technology in-place, security dis-placed 
Succession-Plans In Fast Lane!  
Prevention: The Best Cure! ... Is it really so? 
How Many Times Do You Wash Hands 
What You See Isn't What's Made 
Am I 'Short-sighted' or 'Long-sighted'?  
Beware Of Political-Presentations 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Hoarders Of Filthy Hoardings 
Are You Good If Others Are Bad?

In a Problem?: No Problem ! Dwell A While !!

On a winter morning he was out to take an admission test. Just before boarding bus to the exam-center, he realized that he had forgotten hall-ticket at home.

He rushed back. The door-lock failed to open as he tried vehemently. Tension began mounting as he consulted his wrist-watch repeatedly.

The lock was behaving the way it wanted to: funnily. His body was trying to cope up by pumping in more adrenaline in reaction.

What to do? What to do?

He consulted neighbors. Called-up parents in office. Both advised him to calm down.

Taking a small break he sat on staircase. With closed eyes he meditated on sound the lift was making. Took a couple of deep breaths. Suddenly something clicked to him. He got up. Kept bag by the side. Inserted key in the lock. Pushed the door slightly up pulled it towards him gently while murmuring "Khul-ja Sim-Sim"!

Voila! The door opened.. He grabbed hall-ticket. Luckily he had (not luckily, he often has by-design) extra time at hand. So rest all went fine.

How does 'dwelling' help?

What had changed between 'non-working' and 'working' status of the lock? Three things changed.

1/ The break that he took offered him a moment to change his tensed mind into relaxed and uncluttered one.
2/ Uncluttered mind offered empty space for fresh thoughts that clicked an idea.
3/ The idea got implemented without tension.

After a couple of iterations the equipment did work. The problem that seemed very difficult, appeared exceedingly simple as it usually does in the end.

One thing was common among three things that changed: The Relaxed mind.

Non-judgmental relaxed mind coolly directed (hands to) focus on actions. It prevented negative reactions. It directed attention on choicely responding to the situation: Positive re-actions or simply put response instead of reactions as the respons-a-ble people give if you may like to call it.

Apart from quality of space and time it offers during the nano-dwelling-moment, there is a deep meaning behind 'mind' being 'relaxed' if one is willing to receive.

Mind gets more powerful to work efficiently and effectively if 'one doesn't allow' it to (overly) 'worry' about symptoms and end-result: be them good or bad. That's a gateway to equanimity! That is what Yog-Gurus advise and practitioners of meditation do.

Scientific explanation to how 'dwelling' helps

To put it in research-language of Behavioral-Modulation-Technique (BMT), peaceful 'dwelling' helps in providing a positive antecedent that encourages active-listening to the-self. As a result, instead of preconceived thoughts, facts of the matter get attention for further analysis and for follow-up action. Peaceful mind prohibits entry of negative emotions (the negative antecedents) that otherwise trigger ego-clashes and harmful consequences therefrom.

To put it in research-language of Dr Eric Bern's Transactional-Analysis (TA): In the later part, his 'relaxed' mind didn't 'worry' about the situation as a problem. It's parent-ego part however did stay 'concerned' about it while considering the situation as a passing-phase. It kept advising him to stay cool having experienced favorable benefits of doing so in past. Thereby his mind was free of 'emotions' of fear not allowing it's child-ego part to waver. It allowed it's 'logical' counterpart, the adult-ego, to take charge.

Adult-ego in turn kept both the child-ego and parent-ego in control and took next logical step.

It uncluttered the mind's passage off negative thoughts in order to accommodate flowing-in of more logical information and options in response to inquisitive questions such as 'what-when-where-who-why-how'. 

A factual information 'click-occurred' and surfaced out of that, that 'this-is-how' the door behaves sometimes during monsoon. And 'that's-the-way' it needs to be opened then.

While his mind was buried under the emotions of worry and tension, it's child-ego part was ruling and behaving funnily, prohibiting recall of abnormal behavioral patterns of the door.

According to Dr Eric Bern, mind chooses to behave differently in different situations. Sometimes it behaves as a 'parent', sometimes as an 'adult' and sometimes as a 'child'. In his words:

Parent-ego is one's 'Taught' concept of life (revolving around conventions, one's  past conditioning or programming) 

Adult-ego is one's 'Thought' concept of life (revolving around logic) 

Child-ego is one's 'Felt' concept of life (revolving around emotions)

In the language of BMT, each of the above egos have their pluses and minuses depending upon a given situation. Adult-ego is however supposed to prevent both the 'parent-ego' and 'child-ego' from hijacking a given situation. It also  treats others as 'adults' and 'respects' their opinions. That's what is called as 'respecting people' and behaving with maturity.

What is the learning?

What should one do when confronted with or when locked in an undesired situation such as above, or on failing in an exam, or on failing in an interview?

In a given situation it's but natural to have emotions. But it's important not to get emotional by getting carried away under the influence of emotions. Consciously keeping cool by meditative breathing does help here in getting over emotions.

Meditative Breathing To Help Dwelling

First of all count 1-2-3.. ...10 in order to arrest reaction and stay cool. 

Close eyes gently. 

Take a couple of de..eeeee-ep breaths. 

Focus on 'feeling' the 'cool' breathing-in and 'warm' breathing-out process.

The process de-focusses you from the clutter of undesired thoughts.

Hence you feel better! More composed!! 

Open eyes if you wish, but slow-o-ly and gen...nnnttt...tly.

Here is a beautiful time-slot you have 'hard-earned' for yourself. 
Now you can 'dwell-a-while-meaningfully' on the agenda on hand.

Focus on the facts that you see around concerning the situation.

Analyse the facts and process them in order to derive actionables.

That in turn helps one to choose, rather act by design like a parent, adult or a child as appropriate to a given situation. It prevents internal ego clashes and thereby prevents clashes with others i.e. external ego clashes (see in picture the red-colored arrows shooting out).

While stuck in messy situations or while making important decisions, 'parent-in-you' may help keeping your cool. It assists 'adult-in-you' to take charge of both the 'parent-in-you' as well as the 'child-in-you'. 'Adult-in-you' thereby can choose safe-n-sound course of action by striking a balance between emotions and logic.

While in play-ground, 'child-in-you' may take charge and enjoy while letting the 'adult-in-you' to keep both the 'parent' and 'child' in you in control and balanced.

At workplace or otherwise the 'adult' in you 'respects' other people. 

In this blog-post I have covered how 'dwelling' helps alongwith it's scientific explanation offered by BMT and TA. I have extended this learning and tips to my blog-posts titled "Success Or Failure: What Do You Like?" in order to understand equanimity and to "In A Big-Problem?: Wear Hats To Solve It !!" in order to see how it helps in solving chronic problems and larger issues. I hope it helps. Looking forward to your experiences. Do write those in comment box hereunder.

Also read a few relevant blog-posts hereunder: Please do consider leaving a comment or sharing this post.

Strategise To Achieve Targets Daily 

Old-Problems, New-Reasons !

Ant Knocks Elephant Down 
Will It Work Here?
Can-changing-thoughts-change-nation?
Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture 
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important 
Talent-Is-Latent: Enable It! 
Judge If It's Paralysis-By-Analysis 
Will It Work Here? 
Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy 
Does recognition really matter 
Who Comes First: Consumer Or Customer ? 
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms ! 
Do You Ask Right Questions?
Am I 'Short-sighted' or 'Long-sighted'? 

Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy

Comprehensive-Strategic-Audits

Prevention: The Best Cure! ... Is it really so?
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms !
When Safety Becomes Sorry 
Drove To Hell ... Almost !  
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
In a Problem?: No Problem ! Dwell A While !!
Part-1
In-big-problem? Wear-hats-to-solve-it! Part-2
How To Make A Difference
Big-Be Or Bug-Be !
Make checklists your friends
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis
That's How Morons Work
You seem Reasonable if you appear Un-reasonable
Waste-to-eat-sea-to-drink

Listen to the iceberg of VOC to acquire customers

Having traveled over 500-Kilometers in a 'bus-to-hell', I requested the agent to "book my return-journey on a bus-service that follows road-safety norms (especially the overtaking related), doesn't honk horn excessively, nor does it overuse brakes."

There was no other convenient alternative mode. A debt-ridden airliner had stopped operating on that (the Mumbai-Hubli) sector.

The travel agent gave me a funny look as if he was booking a ticket for an alien.

Not his fault because he was used to conventional requests like "timeliness, cleanliness, bus-with-video", etc. But someone like an idiosyncratic like me had to do the nasty job of giving customer-feedback. I usually don't hesitate doing so, sometimes even by making unusual requests such as above although unsure of the cognizance of it. 

I'm optimistic that sometime someone will. I think every customer who isn't, deserves to get a shoddy quality if s/he does!

Anyway, whether a customer complains or not, is it difficult for owners/managers of tourist buses to prevent their bus-drivers from overdoing: honking, speeding-up, braking on-and-oft, etc. kind of bad work habits. Now a days even digital technology is available to do so. Drivers, especially the bus-drivers, are constantly in a mood to kiss other speeding vehicles passing by.

Perhaps only on Indian roads the passengers must be getting reduced to a continuously-rattling grain-in-a-sieve. One has to master the art of Napolean-nap (quick nap on horse that he's famous for) to be able to take one in between a couple of sets of honking and braking in buses in India.

Forget feedback or lodging a complaint, hardly anyone even dares to voice such abnormal driving behavior. Surely s/he won't for the fear of the 'boss'-driver particularly if forced to travel frequently in the same bus.

Some companies do have a mechanism to capture such voice-of-customer (VOC). Because they know that, although sounding like 'idiosyncratic' casual remarks, VOC are just a tip of the iceberg (of complaints not voiced by many others for various reasons).

Some of them are sensible and sensitive enough to take next steps that of digging into the iceberg to take corrective and preventive actions treating such voices as 'complaints', although at times they may not be so.

- But having taken actions, how many look at the resulting improved practices as a competitive advantage! 

- How many build upon them and deploy them horizontally as specifications enhancing their own standards over and above their 'core-offering'! 

- How many communicate them (through their marketing promotion programme) in order to differentiate their services from from others!

Those who do, do score over their competition!

What steps do such forward looking companies take?

1/ They educate their staff that hardly over 4-out-of-100 dissatisfied customers might end up complaining. Rest just quit without-telling even as the so-called satisfied customers continue to 'live' with abnormalities until of course they get alternative-options.

2/ They install various mechanisms such as follows to capture VOC.

- They actually travel like a ghost-customer (known as mystery-shopping practice) in order to learn by observing abnormal as also good practices, if any.

- They train their staff to speak and/or 'actively-listen' to customers just as a mother would do with her tiny tots in order to learn their unspoken-unmet needs over and above their 'crying' wants anyway.

3/ They put Kaizen-improvements in place on relevant VOC observations, abnormal as well as good practices of own as also that from customer's gemba, and unspoken-unmet needs as also wants.

4/ They train and re-train their stakeholders on the above for effective implementation.

Actually specifications such as timeliness, cleanliness, video, etc. are a given 'Must-Quality' norms to enter or at the most to be in business.

Additionally it is the satisfaction of VOC: unspoken-unmet needs as well as wants (that's why it is called as 'Quality-that-Delights' the customer) that has the power - to expand the base of customer as also of the business (Ansoff-Matrix) by not only helping to bring out innovative products/services but also - to pull in additional customers (brand-affinity) while retaining the existing ones on existing products/services (brand-loyalty).

Of course, effectively communicating the resultant differentiations among all its stakeholders is part and parcel of the process.

Very few companies actually administer such a conducive mechanism by-design. Imagine the scope to benefit from it in terms of top-line sales and bottom-line profits if they do.

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: Please do consider leaving a comment or sharing this post.

No Time? Micro-Meditate!  
Functional-Aesthetics
Listen To The Iceberg Beyond Tip

Overworked? Tension? CPU of the mind hung-up? 
Do you exercise your choice meaningfully 
IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important? 
Eternally Happy! 
In-a-problem? No-problem! Dwell-a-while! 
I am afraid ! What do I do !! 
Fearful-Of-Death-of-Birth
Take Habits For A Ride 
Happy-Birthday-to-Youooo
Do You Celebrate Mean-or-Green 
Big-Be Or Bug-Be ! 
Raam or Krishna-Shyam: Tell me Hey Raam! 
Are You Good If Others Are Bad?  
Want Need-Or-Want 
How To Make A Difference 
Love is Care.. Care is Love !  
Deity is in the eyes of the beholder 
Success-or-failure! What-do-you-like?
Ball-Basin-Team Combine !  Maketh The Smile Divine !! 

Can-changing-thoughts-change-a-nation

A customer gets what s/he deserves: Shoddy Quality!

A Customer Complaint made to a reputed taxi service in Mumbai was: 

1/ The taxi booked was not found until few minutes after the appointed time. So the driver was called (by customer) to find out his 'whereabouts'.

Taxi was found to be parked away on road. The driver refused to go to customer's colony when requested. He threatened to go away if the customer did not go where the taxi was parked.

2/ Nor had he informed his arrival although he said that he had. In fact, customer called him up a few minutes after 'no-show'. Attached screen-shot of the customer's cell shows 'outgoing' to driver's number but not incoming from his number.

3/ On telephone as well as in person, when the driver was asked 'why he did not come inside the colony' he arrogantly replied: "Our Taxi-Service-Provider gives too much importance to Customer. (In his vernacular language: "Ye Taxi-Service-waleney Customer ko aisa, implying 'chadhake', banaya hai''...and so on).

Supplier's response after over a week of registering the complaint was:

"Please accept my sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused to you."

Where does the above real-life practice fit into business principles?

How should, a service provider wanting to stay and flourish in business, look at a typical customer complaint?

The above transaction is a typical case-study of INDIFFERENCE that should be avoided at all the touch-points with all stakeholders especially with customers by both the front-liners as well as the rear-end officers. (Reference 'world of Kaizen' book).

What is a customer's rightful 'expect'ation after a typical complaint (that hardly 4% of the dissatisfied customers choose to make):

1/ First of all the first-aid so that s/he gets quick relief. (In addition, apology is anyway expected but it's of no use without the First-aid.)

2/ Right to know specific details of what exact action was taken to prevent the situation from occurring in future.

How does a typical supplier respond. What INDIFFERENCE do most suppliers engage into:

1/ First of all they deny the complaint then they defend.

2/ They express dry apology without taking preventive action. Such an apology is like rubbing the wound. (The taxi service in above case fell in this category.)

3/ They don't keep customer informed about specific details of what exact action (if at all) was taken to prevent the situation.

4/ They expect customers to forget service-errors s/he had faced during the year in lieu of a yearly-gift-packet and/or sweets. While the gift 'dry-of-emotions' reinforces their vow to quit, most customers shamelessly accept it in exchange of an unexpressed abuse (to the supplier).

Funnily, a typical supplier doesn't mind recruiting a well-paid customer-care officer who is well-trained in handling an errate customer, and further training him in writing flowery letters so that 'issues' are taken 'care' of.

Result:  Customer continues the service provider only until s/he finds another option so that s/he can QUIT. Meanwhile, s/he plays the role of a devil-publicity-officer 'bad-mouth'ing the supplier's services among not less than a dozen prospective customers.

As someone says, it takes 10 times more money and efforts to acquire a new customer.

Isn't it wiser instead to invest this money in training associates on what the customer 'expects' rather than spending wastefully on reactively 'managing' the effects of indifference.

Should a customer bother about such 'small' issues?:

If s/he wants a change in such careless attitude, then yes!

S/he must play her small-bit-a-role though. Else, s/he should not blame suppliers for shoddy quality of service. S/he must help to get service-error out of the system which otherwise anyway will keep popping up above the carpet exactly when unwanted.

If and when it eventually does pop-up then the corresponding customer got what s/he deserved. Also s/he makes herself deserving to what s/he will get in future.