The PJ (poor joke) above might no longer remain a PJ if banana peel is replaced by a typical problematic situation one encounters in daily routine. The question remains unanswered then: Why do some people find it difficult to act beyond cure? They do think 'Prevention is The Best Cure' though! I was no different from them! But now my journey is gathering speed, hopefully in the direction that the blog is supposed to drive towards. Checkout my other blogs and work at http://www.worldOFkaizen.com/
Showing posts with label self-confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-confidence. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Conscious Of Self-Esteem

"Hey, you ciant piark yer kyar thiees waye, kay?" Owner of neighboring parking slot in my society had picked up American accent.

Perhaps he recently had a week's stint somewhere there. A week ago I'd heard him saying, "Why can't you park your car this way?"

Do you find some people picking up a local slang, be it from a developed destination like in above case or from a rural-interior one from an under-developed geography?

Good if the purpose of such a behavior is to improve grammatical delivery. Or good if a newly learnt short-form is by design to add to personal vocabulary in order to increase productivity.

In both such cases the change might be good if it offers some corresponding functional benefit.

In case of 'American-accent' the change occurred over the week appears more to impress the 'foreign-return' stamp than any value-addition to herself or to the listener. In fact to the listener it was a non-value because the accent was difficult to comprehend. The behavior appears to be purely aesthetic.

In the latter case, corresponding person doesn't seem to be conscious of her self-esteem. She is allowing (rather choosing) it to get deteriorated inadvertently though.

Agreed that under some circumstances one does need to behave "Like Romans in Rome". But carrying Rome lock-stock-and-barrel back to your native place may not be a good idea.

It's like sacrificing your own identity merely to conform to others' expectations or purely to impress others. It's like refusing to take stock of "who you really are and are capable of doing". It's like lack of self-confidence or lack of belief in the self.

Lesson

It's fine if a change in behavior and in turn in personality is for the good or for the better. Alternatively if the change in personality leads to deterioration of current level of performance of the self or that of the others then it's a No.. No!

On this first day of the year, let me thank the year gone by for having given me so many opportunities such as above to learn from. Thank you the year to help me to reinforce as well as to enhance my self-esteem and to help me get ready to embrace the New-Year with newer zeal.

IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important? 
Talent-Is-Latent: Enable It! 
Take your career in fast lane!
Do you exercise your choice meaningfully
Do You Ask Right Questions?  
Do You Force Customers To Quit
Less-With-More Because More-Is-Sore
Should one care for value
Talk In Order To Listen!  
Aesthetics Spills-Over Function, Want Spills-Over Need (Part-2)
Functional-Aesthetics 

Friday, 15 November 2013

Fearful Death-Of-Birth !

Imagine anxiety and fear of a typical interviewee:

Sir, what's my profile and what will be my pay?

I am employing you 'To Borrow My Worries' and your annual-pay will be 'A Lakh of Dollars' dear: replies the businessman.
The Interviewee: But how can a small business afford such a pay package?
The Businessman: That's your first worry!

Imagine anxiety of a typical mother of a patient when Doctor asks:

Which news would you like to hear first, I have a bad news and a very-bad news for you? 
Patient asks for bad news first.
Doctor says: Your lab-test results show you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: Only 24 Hours! Oh My God!! Can there be any worse news than this?
Doctor: The very-bad news is I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Jokes apart. 
Fear has power to pull one down from all the previous achieved happiness and achieved goals in one shot.

At spiritual level as Saint Gondavlekar Guruji says, anxiety and worry is like termites. One can't see it eat anything.

Termites are evident only in the form of a destroyed book or cloth. Similarly, effect of anxiety and fear can be seen only in the form of destroyed faith and confidence in one's own self and thereby in terms of an undeserved outcome or a failure.

In fact if studied scientifically as well as spiritually, in longer run
- the so-called failure as also success turns out to be relative, and then,
- one accepts 'whatever happens, happens for good' at the end of putting in best efforts.

In longer run many 'windows-&-doors' of opportunities do open unless one succumbs to termites of anxiety and fear in the interim.

Hence not allowing fear to be in the vicinity should be one of the most important goals, in fact should be a top order of goal of everyone.

And so far, that was about managing fear for material goals.

Ultimate, the choicest of all goals, is to manage mother-of-all-the-fears: The Fear-of-Death.

It's about empowering one's own 'self'.

It's about training one's own 'self' on domain knowledge of a beautiful spiritual thought reflected in various versions of a poem that I came across sometime somewhere:

Looking at the horizon, someone by the side of the sea exclaims, "Oh, the Ship is gone !" just while on the other side of the horizon someone rejoices, "Wow, the Ship has arrived !"


That's where it's the 'Death of the concept of birth' and vice versa.

That inspires me to give a little poetic touch-n-tip:

Life-Boat for Fear-of-Death !

Why do you cry "Oh, S/he is gone !"
Let someone rejoice, "Wow, S/he is born !"
On the day this thought is borne !
Fear is gone with a gift of New Dawn !!


Sunday, 28 July 2013

Deity is in the eyes of the beholder

Sometime ago I received a divinely-beautiful picture on social media. It was an idol of 'Lord-Shiva' in the backdrop of Sun. 

Deity is in the eyes of the beholder !!

This is what I murmured on looking at it instead of "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" as they often say!

I also 'read' the picture as... 
Isn't it possible to embrace even Sun if One-believes-in-Self as an infinitely decimated part of the super power though! Of course, at the same time one must not abuse the beauty of the Nature-God!

Else as another picture depicts, 'God-Shiva', The-Supreme Generator-Operator of the Universe-and-the-Nature won't take much time to switch-her-role to be 'Deity-Shankar': The-Supreme-Destructor !



What Moral-tips one may draw from so-called 'natural' calamities & devastations therefrom?

1/ Let's not push God-Shiva to be Deity-Shankar.

2/ G-O-D, The Generator-Operator-Destructor, The Universal-Energy is omni-present and  holistically well-balanced in and around the beauty of The-Nature itself and its creations rather than being concentrated in an idol.

3/ An idol itself will be helpless if we contribute in imbalancing the Nature by involving in unnatural and wasteful human activities.

4/ We ourselves must take care of both The-Self as well as the beauty of The-Nature-God rather than being under the influence of blind-faith that S/He is there to cure us of any of our own mis-doings.

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

I am afraid ! What do I do !!

I am afraid ! What do I do ?: Flex Muscles !!

In spite of being among top-10 percentile, he wasn't able to get through top companies in campus placement. He was preparing for third round of interviews.

Gripped by fear he was anxious about whether he will get through.

As a first-aid mechanism to tackle the situation, I reminded him to be coffee-bean like by gaining strength from his own achievements against difficult conditions in past. A coffee-bean adopts to tough conditions of boiling-water by getting assimilated in it along-with it's own color and taste, unlike a carrot in it that gives-in it's toughness.

It's like arousing self-confidence by meditating on actionable-facts from one's own successful encounters or that of a role model instead of day-dreaming on imaginary fears. Although sounding like 'flexing muscles' deceptively to scare a dog away, it's useful.

Like in an eu-stress kind of situation that pumps in adrenaline to create positive pressure for productivity, one does gain energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.
It's important however to be prepared to accept failures, if any, gracefully.

Finally he did get through, more because of his own commitment to 'flex-n-fight' rather than 'flight' away.

In hindsight, the latter job did turn out to be better in terms of both the profile and the package than the first two that gave him a miss.

What do we fear about?

As per REBT research, one tends to expect for herself the following. 

1/ A positive outcome in each situation
2/ Good treatment from everyone, 
3/ Fairness and ease in life

And then s/he begins fearing imaginary 'gap's vis-a-vis expectations as above.  S/he fears accepting reality and facts as challenges

For instance, had the so-called failure allowed anxiety and fear to take berth in place of faith and confidence, the interviewee might have missed berth in the latter job as well.

I remember a song in Marathi language 'Athshey-khidkya-navshey-daarey' meaning '800-windows-900-doors'. Life offers many opportunities except for those who choose to see and fear dead-walls in place of 'windows-&-doors'.

A caution: First-aid kind of flash-in-pan mental games such as above can't substitute being prepared for a given situation.

In 1980s, I had used a practical mechanism to be prepared to tackle fear of interviews. On most holidays during my first job I used to appear for various interviews. I was conscious to not be arrogant nor over-confident of course although I didn't need a corresponding job. 

In fact, I was confident since I had nothing to lose. It was like experiencing 'windows-&-doors' before even needing those.

Preparedness in general is like having a passport in terms of
- trained-mind in place to stay positive even in an unfavorable outcome,
- intrinsic knowledge of a given situation.
- alternative plans as well as risk management plans as a part of corrective mechanism

Preparedness helps steadfastly moving ahead with calculated risks of adverse consequences, if any.Thereby it helps mitigate fear  Being prepared to what all might happen in the 'interim' and as an 'end' while sailing makes one take steps consciously and confidently. It enhances chances of success. In fact, thereby it breeds enhanced-confidence in each subsequent situation.

It's prudent to take inner-view in light of the above before and while tackling a tough situation be it an interview or otherwise.


What's the learning? 

There is a structure in the above process.

In fear there is a negative structure that one climbs down a dark valley. 

In 'being prepared' there is a positive structure. One gets luxury of time that brings in patience. With patience comes poise that helps one climb up a mountain towards Sunrise. 

Which structure to use is about exercising choice.

So relax and train mind on these powerful thoughts.

Be prepared.

Gain positive energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.

And then fight the situation out.











Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture

"What happened? Why are you so nervous?", I asked one of my singer friends during our monthly singing meeting. "We have a lovely theme of singing 'monsoon songs' with a lively setting of heavy rains in the background!"

My friend is usually well-prepared for our singing meet up every third Sunday. We all professionals from various fields with a common interest enjoy theme-based singing.

"Are you not prepared today?", I continued.

"That's not the case", he murmured. "I am worried about my business dear. It has become a noise while I am on a song".

He owned a mid-sized business. In spite of reasonable compensation he had a problem of attrition affecting business performance year-on-year. It was their innovative product that had been somehow helping them sail through. In fact, their 'somehow'-management techniques consisted of 'pushing' people (including a major chunk of attrition-substitute freshers) for production, 'shouting' at them for mistakes, etc. This had been resulting in a 'snow-ball effect' of managing rejections, delayed deliveries, and so on.

In effect, sagging morale of people had been posing a perpetual challenge of keeping both the old brigade as also the new breed engaged homogeneously. Anxiety of future, that was evident on his face, seemed to take toll on him. Actually he had been voicing this concern at regular intervals in past.

What was the solution to engage people? 

There was no point in him worrying about attrition in particular. Even big and successful companies could't prevent that. Finding ways and means to get both the old and new engaged speedily and sustainably was the only answer. More the engagement, lower the performance issues, easier and faster the familiarization to processes, higher the affinity to workplace, lower the possibility of attrition.

Getting that done was a challenge particularly on a fear-struck workplace that on the other hand was full of challenges on quality, cost and delivery front.

In a fear-struck workplace if leader himself behaves like a maniac, it adds fuel to the fire. "What if I change the process" kind of 'What-if' questions haunt people under-fear especially if they are freshers.

Fear of unknown haunts just as a child gets scared of entering a dark room.

What will boss say if I make mistakes?
Will I be able to do this neatly or adequately?
Will I be able to complete it (Compliance)?
Will I fail?
Will I be able to communicate my stand?
Will my colleagues ridicule me?
Will they criticize me?

Such aesthetic fears promote staying put in status-quo.

While on one hand people under the grip of fear wish that everything should go right, on the other hand they imagine everything undesired happening. They begin worrying and get excessively anxious. This results into several mental, emotional and physical symptoms including demotivation, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, etc. In other words generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) takes their charge resulting into negative 'snow-ball effect' around. 

Apart from demotivating work-environment, causes of such worrisome behavior could be a mix of biological, psychological, social and cultural ones that may include: lack of preparedness for the occasion, personality inhibitions, shyness or learned behaviour of habitually worrying or anxiety (as a trait) inherited from their family environment, etc.

In personal setting the affected people may get conventional advice that of resorting to self-help strategies such as to "have self-confidence even if others don't have it in you" or to "look at your own self positively and get set & act" or to "relax, deep-breathe and meditate" while in mess, and "to "approach solving a problem one-step at a time", etc.

Yes, it's always good to make your own-self robust than trying to change outside world to accommodate your weaknesses. But only one's own family members with their captive homogeneity and serious interest may afford to spend that kind of time and efforts on helping one individually.

But in a typical dead-line based corporate setting that employs 100s and 1000s of people with multiple diversities at personal and professional level, spending that kind of time and efforts on helping everyone individually may become prohibitively expensive and difficult in spite of employing a fleet HRD managers and their initiatives. 

So what is the alternative solution for businesses such as that of my friend?

How to instill self-confidence in each and every member of the corporate family? How to align them with speed matching that required to perform and deliver time-bound goals of the organisation?

One pioneered by Toyota among various methods was about creating various listening platforms in order to preserve "respect for people" and to preserve their "individuality" in terms of individual creativity as well as speed of participation without affecting speedy demands on the organisation.

Toyota did this by providing

1/ empowered environment to make changes in work under an individual's direct control,

2/ structured platforms to declare and get recognised for the efforts put in suffering or making those changes with rules that would pre-empt all the fears including that of failed changes, if any.

This is where structured problem solving methods such as Gemba-Kaizen, One-step instant Kaizens, Seven-step Kaizens, Quality-Circles, Kaizen-Teian, etc. were born that helped them mint millions and billions of improvements. Most important common thread among them all was listening to the changes made by people with employee empowerment rules such as following as the essence among other support structures for creating Kaizen-culture as they say in one-word at Toyota. 

1/ The Kaizenee (an employee willing to make an improvement) is the boss to decide, make and declare small-changes within a pre-decided area with pre-decided conditions viz. 'go-zone' that won't disturb safety standards and customers. He is given full help by a Kaizen Engineering Team (KET) to experiment changes. (P. S. There are methods elsewhere in my blogs that help 'pull' all employees into willingness to do Kaizens).

2/ Mistakes and failures, if any, are pardoned. However they should be recorded as opportunities for improvement.

3/ There is no question of quantum of adequacy and compliance and that of size of savings as long as the deviations are recorded so that they don't go unnoticed and undergo next improvement (PDCA) cycle followed by standardization (SDCA) cycle.

4/ The Kaizenee's style and method of communication is considered least important as long as efforts in making changes are demonstrated personally or evidenced with before-after pictures. Anyone found ridiculing or criticizing a Kaizenee or her style and her sincere efforts is dealt with strictly.

5/ Moment an abnormality is noticed, anyone can stop the entire running line at a touch of a switch of an Andon that blinks or hoots placed at strategic locations.

6/ All help and attention is provided to a Kaizenee by a designated team if s/he brings forward any abnormalities in compliance to above rules. 

With such empowering rules, where is the question of fear now. Isn't this kind of empowerment enough to 'manufacture' self-esteem, confidence, teamwork in order to make the workplace self-managed.

It was difficult for my friend to believe this kind of maverick approach. In fact, his reaction was "with such rules 'they' will force 'us' to close down the shutters". Short of efforts to act he was stuck in his own set of paradigms. 

He may finally end up believing the maverick Kaizen-way on visiting some case-studies though. But I have serious doubts whether he will create one of his own because it's about 'believing-by-doing' which is very difficult for people who believe in 'talking-than-doing'.

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: 

Make It Simpler, Rest Will Follow 
How To Make A Difference 
Big-Be Or Bug-Be ! 
Treat Root-causes, Not Symptoms ! 
Nauseous Communication Gaps 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Raam or Krishna-Shyam: Tell me Hey Raam! 
Will It Work Here?  
Some Moron ! Some Great !!! 
That's How Morons Work 
You seem Reasonable if you appear Un-reasonable 
Smart-Moron Who Breaks Your Glass  
WOW Work-Culture: By Telling or Selling 
Suggestions On-Sale, None-To-Buy 
Can-changing-thoughts-change-a-nation
Ridiculous Poison-culture versus Maverick Kaizen-culture 
Tolerate Once, Twice, Thrice? 
That's how some business partnerships work 
Taken-For-Granted ? You Deserve It !! 
Technology in-place, security dis-placed
IQ-EQ-or-SQ: What-is-more-important?
Do you know a Best-Career-Plan 
Customer or Custo-Mer?  
Experienced A Delightful Payment ! 
An Experience of Heart-and-Soul 
Less With More And More Gets Sore 
Should one care for value?  
ABCD of India Shining
Beware Of Political-Presentations 
Do You Cleanup-After-Crisis 
Hoarders Of Filthy Hoardings