I am afraid ! What do I do !!

I am afraid ! What do I do ?: Flex Muscles !!

In spite of being among top-10 percentile, he wasn't able to get through top companies in campus placement. He was preparing for third round of interviews.

Gripped by fear he was anxious about whether he will get through.

As a first-aid mechanism to tackle the situation, I reminded him to be coffee-bean like by gaining strength from his own achievements against difficult conditions in past. A coffee-bean adopts to tough conditions of boiling-water by getting assimilated in it along-with it's own color and taste, unlike a carrot in it that gives-in it's toughness.

It's like arousing self-confidence by meditating on actionable-facts from one's own successful encounters or that of a role model instead of day-dreaming on imaginary fears. Although sounding like 'flexing muscles' deceptively to scare a dog away, it's useful.

Like in an eu-stress kind of situation that pumps in adrenaline to create positive pressure for productivity, one does gain energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.
It's important however to be prepared to accept failures, if any, gracefully.

Finally he did get through, more because of his own commitment to 'flex-n-fight' rather than 'flight' away.

In hindsight, the latter job did turn out to be better in terms of both the profile and the package than the first two that gave him a miss.

What do we fear about?

As per REBT research, one tends to expect for herself the following. 

1/ A positive outcome in each situation, 

2/ Good treatment from everyone, 

3/ Fairness and ease in life. 

And then s/he begins fearing imaginary 'gap's vis-a-vis expectations as above.  S/he fears accepting reality and facts as challenges. 

For instance, had the so-called failure allowed anxiety and fear to take berth in place of faith and confidence, the interviewee might have missed berth in the latter job as well.

I remember a song in Marathi language 'Athshey-khidkya-navshey-daarey' meaning '800-windows-900-doors'. Life offers many opportunities except for those who choose to see and fear dead-walls in place of 'windows-&-doors'.

A caution: First-aid kind of flash-in-pan mental games such as above can't substitute being prepared for a given situation.

In 1980s, I had used a practical mechanism to be prepared to tackle fear of interviews. On most holidays during my first job I used to appear for various interviews. I was conscious to not be arrogant nor over-confident of course although I didn't need a corresponding job. 

In fact, I was confident since I had nothing to lose. It was like experiencing 'windows-&-doors' before even needing those.

Preparedness in general is like having a passport in terms of
- trained-mind in place to stay positive even in an unfavorable outcome,
- intrinsic knowledge of a given situation.
- alternative plans as well as risk management plans as a part of corrective mechanism

Preparedness helps steadfastly moving ahead with calculated risks of adverse consequences, if any.Thereby it helps mitigate fear  Being prepared to what all might happen in the 'interim' and as an 'end' while sailing makes one take steps consciously and confidently. It enhances chances of success. In fact, thereby it breeds enhanced-confidence in each subsequent situation.

It's prudent to take inner-view in light of the above before and while tackling a tough situation be it an interview or otherwise.


What's the learning? 

There is a structure in the above process.

In fear there is a negative structure that one climbs down a dark valley. 

In 'being prepared' there is a positive structure. One gets luxury of time that brings in patience. With patience comes poise that helps one climb up a mountain towards Sunrise. 

Which structure to use is about exercising choice.

So relax and train mind on these powerful thoughts.

Be prepared.

Gain positive energy by a couple of de...ee...ep breaths followed by 'flexing' and imagining positive outcome.

And then fight the situation out.