Saturday 30 November 2013

Do You Ask Right Questions?

Questioning is an art!
Questions decide answers!
Right questions may get right answers!
Wrong questions may get wrong answers!

Questions decide desired outcomes and at times cause them too!
Questions make or break relationships! 
Right questions build relationships! Wrong ones break them!!

Other day we decided to take an earlier show of newly released film "Krrishh-3". Our maid was late to work. Wishing to reorganise her work my wife called her up to ensure that she arrives early enough before we depart for the show.

Which one of the following questions would have been right to choose from? Reason it out why?

1/ What time are you reaching? Or,
2/ Are you coming to work?

You will be benefited if you stretch your intellect before answering.
Think it out before reading next paragraph.

Taking her master for granted the second question gives maid an undesired option to say NO.
The only option first question gives her perhaps is to confirm the rescheduled time she would be reaching to work. Here there is no option for her to manipulate an undesired option to say NO.

Final outcome of course depends on prevailing demand-and-supply conditions. But by choosing the right question to ask you stand in a better position to influence the outcome in your favor.

1/ First question is of open-ended type. It could have had more than one answers of her choice such as 2 p.m., 3 p.m., 6 p.m. etc.
2/ Second question is of close-ended type because it has primarily limited replies: YES or NO.
3a/ First question is also a combination of leading-type and open-endeded type. Because it has a 'lead' built into it that presumes the maid is already on-way to work.
3b/ If first question's contents are modified to say "You are reaching by 2 p.m. right? it becomes a leading close-endeded type because it limits replies to YES or NO. But still it's an undesired option because she may choose NO.

In case of the situation under consideration, the open-ended question might trigger desirable answers if the contents are modified to say: I am leaving at 2 p.m. What time are you reaching?

What is the learning

It's important to know which type of question to use when?
How to frame contents of questions?
How many questions to use in what permutations and combinations thereof?

As done in Behavior Modulation Technique (BMT) or TA, answers to above questions depend upon what outcome you wish or want to articulate, not to manipulate though. At times you may have to use a checklist of questions to choose from for a given situation. Number of questions should be less (not more than a couple of them) although complicated situations may warrant more of them.

Difficult problem situations may need a judicious mix of choosing other type of questions as well alongwith the open-ended and close-ended ones. I will deal with them in other blogposts. They could be:

4/ Probing-type,
5/ Reflective-type, 
6/ Hypothetical type and even
7/ Stupid-questions (at times)

First two types, open-ended and close-ended ones, are usually useful in most situations: Be it Personal, Social or Business situations including in negotiations and also while handling customer grievances.

Primary purpose of open-ended questions is to extract information.
Primary purpose of close-ended questions is to limit alternatives.

So, think before you ask! Think of contents before you talk!!

If you don't ask right questions you do deserve a wrong or an undesired outcome!!!

Footnote
TA: Transactional Analysis

Also read a few relevant blogposts hereunder: Please do consider leaving a comment or sharing this post.

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